Sunday, December 10, 2006

Tears

Sometimes tears can come at the strangest times. I can go through spells of activity which, at other points in my life, have induced plenty of sadness- yet shed not a single drop. Then at the most unexpected moment my eyes well up.

That happened tonight. I was at our church Christmas concert. It was absolutely gorgeous. Beautifully decorated, poignant messages and a choir and orchestra that spilled out the best of the season. At the end of the concert they invited the congregation to stand and sing a variety of Christmas carols. My heart full of joy, I stood and belted out the words.

Then "it" happened. I literally felt my face crumple. As the music trailed away, I did my best to leave the building with as much dignity as possible and sobbed the whole way home.

You see a year ago singing these songs was probably the happiest redhead in the world. I had recently learned of my pregnancy, and nothing could dampen my spirits. I remember the exhiliration of singing "Joy to the World." I felt it!

Seven days after New Years, three short days after my 28th birthday, I lost that baby. Thus the tears.

For all who cry, I cry with you. Christmas, although a time for joy, can often bring tears as well.